J. M. Bent, Expert Human

Good Song: Christmas Shoes by Newsong

Bad Lyrics: All right, I’m pushing it with “good song” on this one, but it pains me to know some people may not be aware of the magic of Christmas Shoes during the holiday season. It is also an all-time bad lyrics champ.

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size

Here’s the crux of Christmas Shoes: kid wants to buy shoes for his mom for Christmas. Got it? Good. Now let’s get dark.

Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there’s not much time

Daddy is a realist, apparently. No cushioning this kid from the harsh reality of the moment - gonna be a fun household once Mama passes on.

You see she’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile

It seems a little shallow to think even dying women are crazy for shoes.

And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Sounds more like Mama sent this kid on a mission for shoes so she could vamp it up for Jesus.

I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

Yes, God sent a boy with a dying mother to buy shoes in front of you to teach you the meaning of Christmas. The boy’s disease-ridden mother: just a bit player in this passion play.